Andrew, The True Voice Of The Sofas:

Our true presidents are the sofas in Xanana's Lounge. Andrew was chosen as their voice, communicating their wisdom to the rest of the sci-fi community. His hard-work and leadership are an inspiration to us all. At least, they would be if he ever got up off the president and lead us somewhere...

"Reality is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency."
-Anon